Bashi Channel

Camp David, the Bashi Channel, Easy E heads to China and other things that pique the interest of the Rough Diamond in the Rough. 

Transcript

Copy

Not content with having bases across most the known world, our lovely Uncle Samʼs wanna have something in the Bashi channel as well.

Why not?

When you got Easy E heading over to the land that has elected the son of the guy who looted the place the last time, what could go wrong?

Islands are a great thing to try and manage and so the place that sits to the left of the Mariana Trench and has other places like Leyte and Palawan, it is gunna be a real humdinger.

They are also gunna come back into Subic like nothing happened, even though they kicked them out the first time.

Hopefully, this time the pros are real pro and some Americans remember their babies.

You may or may not know that the Cathoʼs known as Filipinoʼs have added a whole heap of bases around the joint, so if you are underwater just remember, you have salty friends.

Some on a boat that might disintegrate. Wouldnʼt happen at Osbourne.

—

MUSIC

So the US wants to have something on Basco for Taiwan.

https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/us-military-in-talks- to-develop-port-in-philippines-facing-taiwan

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bashi_Channel

Let us look at it though, coming alongside some more cashola for our poor Taiwanese who must be delighted that instead of strategic ambiguity the Yanks have decided they are totally legit, feel as if they also have been drenched in the Sun Love of Akhenaten, not exactly a Bob Marley disc spinning beachside but well, almost as good.

Unless of course the dastardly Chinks invade.

We have been given wonderful maps to pore over and guess which way that may come, but unless I mistaken, I wouldnʼt have thought a return to China-Land poss- eeble but then again, Sun Yat-Sen also thought he would get off scott free and the Koreaʼs thought demarction not possible.

No doubt some honky well-paid two bit got involved, Rusk and Bonesteel no less and divided the whole thing and all we are left with is KIA and working out why reunification remains a buzz word.

Anyone for the US controlling the lot?

Any views on the Palestinian blood stuff? NAH flock it.

Let the Mussies get rich and sort it out. Salman has got your number.

He is going to jump frog the whole thing.

Ditto James Murdoch.

MUSIC

Did you like the Camp David Dealio? That was a nice little statement.

Camp David:

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements- releases/2023/08/18/the-spirit-of-camp-david-joint- statement-of-japan-the-republic-of-korea-and-the- united-states/

Not exactly Jimmy Carter and Peace in the Middle Peace and def not a Shawn Carter concert so thereʼs that.

Fortunately JZ no longer has a Basquiat hairdo.

I will not mention soup cans.

However the fact that Camp David is no longer ME Peace but the Allied Powers of Greatness sends a shiver down the spine of anyone advocating Free Love.

And there are so many of those.

Military deals continue apace and allegedly there are outflows from China.

Iʼm still bettinʼ on a swathe of Westerners gettinʼ China deals real cheap and then walkinʼ on in when the whole dealio is finalised.

I mean look at post-war Japan.

What happened there?

Do not argue with history.

It makes you look like a right royal tosser.

MUSIC

Never mind RAIMONDO and Jules and Albo are into China I guess to see how they can hedge any movements of the People.

https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/julie-bishop- heads-to-beijing-for-back-channel-diplomatic- mission-20230831-p5e0z4.html

Ghost town apartments are all the news but Xi - the

man everyone says is a failure despite the fact he is still in power and kept the joint in one piece - has been in the West of China.

Hmm.

MUSIC

Still missing pollies et al.

Wonder why?

And all those exercises.

Scribes, you have excellent imaginations. Five stars, pros.

Keep it up.

History is gunna love cutting around you.

MUSIC

So, we all have cammoʼs in Indonesia.

There are also some straits there and obviously, what the world needs is more tanks.

Not laser, airplanes, health subsidies or jamming tunes - read cyber brilliance, Yʼerʼs, thatʼs you - but tanks.

No.

Someone will still have to explain that to me.

MUSIC

Responsibility.

Well, letʼs see.

Who is responsible for Lebanon?

Who is responsible for Palestine?

Yes, as the international outrage regarding Ukrainia continues apace, spare a thought for the Palestinians.

Bulldozed houses.

Some us havenʼt built the first time.

Such a good look.

How are the renos going Australia?

Maybe we can move them to the South Coast.

‘Palestine, we have a homeland here. Do not discuss our stance on the capital. But you are most welcomeʼ

Lovely little actors. And so many of them.

Imagine the authenticity manifesto that accompanies the brewers yeast.

Brought to you in a clay pot with limestone attached.

The romance.

MUSIC

Do you ever get the feeling that Kate H may not know enough about PPʼs biz?

I canʼt decide if it would be a dinner party youʼd want to attend.

High Society is the least of it. ‘Sweetheart, what is that on your desk?ʼ ‘Something you donʼt understand.ʼ

‘Well you got that right. I just want to send it to the Methodistʼs to see if it complies with our new updated church deets.ʼ

‘You are Catholic.ʼ

‘Small matter. Iʼve taken a liking to Pooh Bear headwear.ʼ

‘If you understand it and can appraise the value in 30 words or less it is yours. Mind you, you then have to explain it to the Church.ʼ

‘Google Translate is non-denominational.ʼ

‘According to you.ʼ

‘When did cattle troughs get so exciting.ʼ

‘When you decided to pop up in one without asking.ʼ

‘Thatʼs what happens when you donʼt invite people to dinner.ʼ

‘Oh we invited you. You just forgot the menu was so appetising.ʼ

‘Depending on your taste. The hay around here may not be all sweet ferment.ʼ

‘Statistically a real possibility. But youʼll never know if you keep snooping around and finding excuses to get wet.ʼ

‘One personʼs snoop is another personʼs brave Arthur.ʼ

‘I would like to talk to the person who introduced you to the 4th Estate.ʼ

‘You canʼt. He is underground.ʼ

‘Highly convenient. Even for you. This is mine by the way.ʼ

Snatches it

‘One day I will find out what is in that troughʼ

‘Until then, weʼll place bets on you deciphering the hieroglyphicsʼ

‘Could be the Rosetta Stone. Could be Sumerian funeral prayers. Donʼt assume an Egyptian heritage, Vizier.ʼ

‘My assumptions are based on fact. I am just not sure about yours.ʼ

‘Depends on who is presenting them.ʼ

 ‘Precisely.ʼ

‘Well, as you are currently presenting them I am going to assume deception based on a raging false modesty.ʼ

‘Raging? Oh you are too kind. But as for the deception that is only because you do not have the knowledge to determine what is valid. Based on an incomplete assessment and a slight bias.ʼ

‘There is no bovine discrimination here.ʼ 

‘Then youʼll be fine for steak tonight.ʼ

‘Sometimes that blade shines a little too brightly for its own good.ʼ

‘Oh now donʼt be like that Princess. We all have our talents. Mine are just a little more obvious than yours.ʼ

‘Not all of us wear it with neon.ʼ

‘Pity. We need something to warn us that unassailable intellectual greatness is on approach. What do you suggest? A barge?ʼ

‘Only if I build it.ʼ

‘Then we have all the time in the world.ʼ

Saunters out.

MUSIC

Next time the to do list will be secret arms shipments.

I mean, everyone will pretend it didnʼt happen, no-one will ask me what I do, Iʼll secret the money in off-shore bank accounts, Iʼll be a revered member of the tennis club and Iʼll waft around with bouncey hair.

I like bouncey hair.

That is where I am headed.

Cause this is not exactly the detail she requires to do her job.